


The Horror of War

by JediC8H10N4O2



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Jedi, Jedi Code, Padawan, Psychological Horror, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 17:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8632252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JediC8H10N4O2/pseuds/JediC8H10N4O2
Summary: Just an idea for an AU where the Clone Wars lasts longer than three years, the Jedi Order survives, and the Republic won. What is taught in war is not necessarily taught in peace. What is learned in war is not necessarily what was actually taught. Sometimes, winning the war means you actually lose what you were fighting for in the first place.
Cross posted at ff.net





	

During war, there is a need to focus on what will get beings through the war, what will allow them to survive the war. Sometimes it comes at the expense of other things, that might well be considered mandatory during times of peace.

For the Jedi, they would like the younglings and padawans to survive the war, to continue the Order. And so lightsaber practice is promoted at the cost of the Code. Commanding is taught alongside morals. It is temporary, the Masters tell themselves as they watch padawans struggling to remember the code. All will be fixed when the war ends.

The problem isn't what the Masters teach or don't teach. It's with what the padawans and younglings learn.

**Peace is a lie.**

The younglings have never known peace. They do not remember a time Jedi were not fighting, were not dying. The young padawans only have vague memories of that time and even those feel fake, for the War is far more real than an era of peace could ever be. They cannot conceive of a universe where Jedi do not need to master the lightsaber or face certain death. A Jedi is as powerful as their ability to fight with a lightsaber. A Jedi is only powerful if they can stay alive.

And so it is whispered. From padawan to padawan, padawan to youngling, youngling to youngling. It is passed along in shadows behind the master's backs. It is passed down from year to year. It is truth, and whispered reverently. It is mantra and repeated silently. 

**Peace is a lie. There is only passion.**

Adrenaline. It is the difference between life and death. It flows through the body during every confrontation with the CIS. It allows for a greater connection to the Force. It grants clarity in moments of chaos. It becomes greater the more scared the padawans are. The padawans become more scared the more they care about what will happen. They fear death, although the Masters claim they shouldn't. But how can they not, when they have been training forever to become soldiers to save the Republic.

Fear is everywhere, and the padawans have learned how to make the best of a bad situation. Fear can be tapped for adrenaline.

**Through passion, I gain strength.**

The padawans quickly learned they felt more connected to the Force in life or death situations. When a padawan needed a boost, needed an immediate push to their abilities, they would turn to fear. To anger. They turn to their passions, to the care they feel for their friends and Masters, the care that turns to fear that leads to the Force. They cannot let down the Republic, so they use their belief in the Republic, in the Jedi and the Masters to push on. They will not be the ones to let the free worlds fall. They all fervently believe that.

They would not die, not today. Their friends and Masters will not die, not today. For death is scary, and not what they want, and peace is a lie. And channeling that anger and fear gave them strength.

**Through strength, I gain power.**

The feats that the padawans can manage during battle are greater than those they manage while practicing. They can stop a tree from falling on soldiers and friends, they can feel the Force pulse with warning as the blaster bolts fly without even concentrating. While training with their masters in downtime, when the war can be ignored, the trees do not move. The blaster bolts sting. The exercises are repeated, again and again, with Masters looking slightly let down that the padawans cannot do well in the simple exercises. There is meditation, and thinking, and lectures. And the padawans listen, and try, and realize:

In battle, they are powerful. In battle, they are fierce. In battle, they can win.

**Through power, I gain victory.**

Victory. It is what they are fighting for. It is the be all, end all. Every battle won is a step closer to ultimate victory. Every battle lost is two steps back. Losing is not allowed. Losing is dying, losing is other people dying. Losing is letting the Masters and your friends and the clones and the Republic down.

Victory is the most important thing. Anything for victory.

**Through victory my chains are broken.**

Some of the older padawans remembered learning about the dark side of the Force, of the trouble with using emotions. Master Yoda had a favorite saying. 'Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering'. Some padawans felt uncomfortable after the fact when using their anger and fear to connect to the Force. But for victory, anything. Victory was important. They had to save lives, to save the Republic. The Jedi were the protectors of the Republic. They had to win.

**The Force shall free me.**

They do not know who came up with the words. They don't know how the words came to be. All they know is the truth of the words. And so they repeat them silently before every battle, after every death. A reminder and promise that they cannot, will not, lose. Every death strengthens their resolve, fuels their fear. Before battle, the recitation stirs those emotions.

The war was hard and difficult, and the Masters focused on trying to help all the Jedi to survive. But in war, with confusion and time constraints and different priorities, things get ignored. Shoved under the rug. Noted for future reference, and then forgotten.

The masters go back to peace, remember the time before. And go to teach their padawans to be better Jedi.

Only to realize they have nurtured Sith.


End file.
